You drink at home – GREAT!

Whilst the health authorities, the government and experts lament about the number of people drinking ‘behind close doors’, if you’re a heavy drinker and want to modify your habit, there some great news!

It’s easier to modify at home than in a social environment!

Why?

Like the old saying, your home is your castle, you’re the one who wears the trousers there.  You are the King or the Queen, the President, the Dictator (or however you’d like to call yourself) of the environment there.  You control everything and that’s great news for modifying your drinking.

In Your Castle.  You control Policy!

·         You control what you buy. 

·         You control what and how much alcohol to store.

·         You can control the labelling on your alcohol.

·         You can have messages in your house.  Like in Animal Farm “Two legs bad, Four legs good”.  For example “one drink is good, any more is bad” or “More than two, Alcohol makes you feel like poo” (Anything that helps you remember how too much alcohol makes you feel).  “Alcohol steals my time”.  You already know in what you don’t like about ‘drinking’, use that knowledge!!!

·         You control how alcohol is displayed.  Perhaps, it could be locked up, so it’ll give you a couple of extra seconds to think about drinking.

·         If there’s a soft drink you like (doesn’t have to be sugary), make sure you have a supply of it.

So take control.  Modify your drinking.  It’s easier in the home.  You’re the Boss!

Next time – How I learned the skill of ‘stopping after one drink in my home’.

Why do we drink? Part 2

Last time we watch 10 adverts for alcohol and tried to work out how they were selling alcohol to us. 

Knowing why we drink can help us questions those reasons.  Are they valid reasons?  Are we deluding ourselves?

Allen Carr is famous for helping people quit smoking and drinking.  His approach to quitting smoking focuses on debunking myths surrounding smoking – it’s physically addictive, it’s beneficial (i.e. helps against boredom, helps concentration, relaxes me etc). 

Here’s a video of him explaining his method for smokers to quit.

Allen Carr Explaining How Smokers Can Stop

Alcohol Relaxes Me (My interpretation of Allen Carr)

Alcohol relaxes me. It’s true that when you start drinking, alcohol changes the way you feel.  That’s probably why after a hard day of work, people like this change in state that alcohol provides.   But if you carry on drinking, up to the time you go to bed, then alcohol disrupts your sleep.  You might fall asleep faster but alcohol disrupts the second half of your sleep, leaving you tired in the morning.  Not only that, alcohol’s a depressant, which basically means it slows down your brain activity.  That’s why after a heavy night, most people feel ‘washed out’ the next day. 

Alcohol and alternatives for relaxation.

	Short term	Medium term	Long term
Alcohol	Changes how you feel	Negative	Negative
Meditation	Changes how you feel	Positive	Positive
Exercise	Changes how you feel	Positive	Positive
Cold Shower	Changes how you feel	Don’t know	Don’t know

Allen Carr's Fourth Point from the video

I've found this to be true.  I was surprised at first but when you see someone getting more and more drunk, it's really isn't a pretty sight.

Back to the adverts

Advert 1

It makes things different.  Something unexpected might happen.  You’ll be living but with a different tune – fun because it’s different.

This is held to be true by many drinkers because many drunken nights led to unexpected things happening.    But I also think a bit of alcohol blindness is happening here as well.  Too many people think of ‘drinking’ as the ‘night out’ but the effect of alcohol last much longer.  Unexpected things might happen on a night out but nothing much tends to happen the day after a night out.  The day can be lost because you’re recovering from the night.  So you lose the chance to do different and exciting things in the day because you’re too wasted.

This gets to be more true as you get older.  Perhaps, you don't even have the excitement of going out because you drink at home.  If you're in your 30s, 40s or 50s, you've probably done this over a 1,000 times before.  What's going to be different if you get drunk one more time?  The end result is likely to be the same, especially for the day after.  Many heavy drinkers write off the day after, simply because alcohol is determining their routine.  They deny themselves the chance to do something different the next day.

Advert 3

It’s a manly thing to do.  Men and beer relate.  When men and beer get together, you can relax and have a good time.   The pub is place for a man.  If you drink and you’re a man, you’re still a rebel – young at heart

Whilst men like to drink beer together, is it really a manly thing to do? 

·         Beer, especially helps towards man boobs.   Man boobs are the very antipathy of manliness, cause in part by alcohol increase oestrogen, a female hormone.   Alcohol in general is seen by many as empty calories, which can lead to putting on weight. 

·         Alcohol lowers the sexual performance of males.

·         A sports field, a garage and a kitchen are also places for men. 

Advert 4

Beer is better than a beautiful woman.  It taste really good too.

Both might seem like good ideas but ultimately they both lead to trouble.

Advert 7

Beer makes you dance and brings out your hidden talents.

Arguably for some people, they only dance then they’ve drunk some alcohol.    From my personal experience and of seeing friends the day after, alcohol is usually disastrous for developing ‘hidden talents’.   It’s a huge time killer.  After big nights, it usually leaves you useless the next day.  This can be from tiredness and also from the ‘downer’ affect alcohol has on your nervous system, leaving you unmotivated and feel disengaged.  

What can we learn from Allen Carr?

·         Understanding and questioning why we drink will help us change our view of 'drinking'.

·         Many of the reasons why we drink are based on false beliefs. This is good in a way because we can question and address those beliefs.

·         It's easier to change your habit, if you believe it's easy.

·         Like smokers who need to smoke to relax, drinkers who need to drink to relax ( or socialize, or feel comfortable, or address boredomness) are putting themselves in a vicious circle.  It's a form of complusive behaviour.  If you put a heavy drinker next to a non-drinker/moderate drinker, who do you think is more relaxed?  And if you take away the drink - would their behaviour change?

·         And I'm sure a lot more.

Allen Carr also has a book that helps you quit drinking, even though its called 'Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol'.  From the reviews on Amazon, it seems very anti-drinking and a lot of reviewers who had read the book, ended up quitting alcohol.

Remember, you can change your drinking habit.  You can quit if you want or you can modify it. It's your choice.

http://themoderatedrinker.blogspot.com/2011/10/moderate-drinker.html

Why do we drink? Let’s learn from the Advertisers

Understanding why we drink is an essential key to changing the way you drink.  Many of the ‘whys’ are based on myths about alcohols;  Alcohol relaxes me, alcohol makes me more social, the more I drink the better I feel, etc.   People like Allen Carr believe that tackling the ‘drivers’ of drinking removes the desires to drink.  Allen Carr basically turns reasons to ‘drink/smoke’ into reasons not to.  
 

Why learn from the Advertisers

Because they’re expert at influencing behaviour and using ‘positive’ association with the product they’re pushing.

Best 10 Alcohol Ads from Australia

Sorry, I'm having terrible embedding this video, so there's just a link.

These are my thoughts, feel free to adds yours too.

Advert 1

It makes things different.  Something unexpected might happen.  You’ll be living but with a different tune – fun because it’s different.

Advert 2

Beer tastes great and it’s quenches a thirst.  It’s related to sex, the tongue and the couple snogging. It’s related to the night and excitement.  The swimming with the ice – it changes your state and refreshes you.

Advert 3

It’s a manly thing to do.  Men and beer relate.  When men and beer get together, you can relax and have a good time.   The pub is a place for a man.  If you drink and you’re a man, you’re still a rebel – young at heart.  You might be married but if you're a real man, you still drink beers with the boys.

Advert 4

Beer is better than a beautiful woman.  It taste really good too.

Advert 5

Something magical happens when you drink.  You become very creative and a carnival atmosphere prevails.  Drinking beings the community together.  Everyone is happy when they drink.  It’s ok to hijack a beer lorry, if you’re hijacking it for the community use. 

Advert 6

Drink beer if you’re a man.   (nice play on the ‘politics of rounds’).

Advert 7

Beer makes you dance and brings out your hidden talents.

Advert 8

Beer solves the biggest of problems, even drought.

Advert 9

Australia is great because of Bundaberg Rum.  The UK sucks and because we all like our alcohol, we all want to move to Australia for Bundaberg Rum. 

Advert 10

Beer is epic!  It’s classical and makes us do great things.

I'll follow this up with a video of Allen Carr talking about his method for giving up smoking.  It's equally applicable to cutting down or getting up drinking.   And attempt to tackle some of the reasons these ads give us that 'drinking' is 'great'.

Any ideas about why we drink and thoughts on the adverts, please add a comment.

Why Don't More Heavy Drinkers Moderate?

Who’s this for;

Heavy drinkers who want to cut down on their drinking but so far haven’t found a way.

Moderation would be easier if we did the right things.

If you want to moderate, do what moderate drinkers do.  They drink in a way that’s different to heavy drinkers.  Learn some of the skills that moderate drinkers have and your drinking will become more moderate. 

Unfortunately, this is not what a lot of heavy drinkers do.

Why don’t more heavy drinkers moderate?

You wake up with a steaming hangover and end up doing nothing the whole day.  You feel like shit, not only because you’re hung-over but also because you’ve wasted another Sunday.  You really want to cut down.  So you stop drinking for a week. 

End result.  You feel much better but when you start drinking again you’re drinking like you always have.  And then you forget about moderation until the next time you drink way too much.

Drinkers who want to moderate confuse ‘abstinence’ with ‘moderation’.  Abstinence and moderation are two different things.  They are two different skills.  Abstinence is not drinking.  Moderation is drinking small amounts which are not harmful to the body.

Abstinence

If your goal is to moderate your drinking then abstinence at best can provide you with some breathing space.  It’ll detoxify your body and you’ll feel healthier.  But abstinence by itself is unlikely tomoderate how you drink. 

So how can you moderate?

You moderate by learning the skills that moderate drinkers have.  These are the skills that will help you cut down.  They work because they give you a new way of drinking.

What are these skills?

·         Learn to stop after one drink.  (I recommend one at first because it’s simple and the effects of the alcohol are light). 

·         Drink water or a soft drink with alcohol.

·         Learn to say to no to alcohol.

·         Understand why you want to drink – then question this.  Most of the reasons we used for drinking are based on myths or misunderstandings about alcohol.

·         Increase the gap between your first drink and your second drink.  Perhaps use a timer or alternate on the drinks i.e. soft drink than alcoholic drink etc.

·         Increase the gaps between every drink you have.

·         Think long and hard about the pain and trouble alcohol has brought you.  You already know that too much alcohol is bad for you.  Use this knowledge.

·         If you go out, start off with a soft drink.

·         Opt out of the round system.

There are probably more as well but if you learn two or three of the above, I’ll guarantee that the way you drink will change and you’ll be drinking less on more occasions.

So if you want to  moderate your drinking, think like a moderate drinker, do like a moderate drinker and the end result, you'll drink more like a moderate drinker.

How to moderate your drinking – Your ideas

Who’s this for;

People who want to cut down on their drinking but haven’t been able to achieve this yet.

First thing first.

If you want to change something, it’s easier if you understand where you are now. Recording the drinks you drink is a good place to start – Review of Mydrinkaware

Also ask yourself the following questions;

How many times have I got drunk in my life?
Who do I drink with?
What do I drink?
Is the same throughout the night?
Do I change drinks?
Do I always drink the same amount?  If not, when do I drink more; when do I drink less;
When do I start drinking?
Do I drink more in the home or outside?
Where do I drink most?
What do I do when I finish a drink?
What do I feel before I drink?
Why do I drink?

This is visual representation of how I used to drink;

This is how I used to drink some nights. Beer after beer after beer. What can you do to moderate this kind of drinking?

How about this pictures;

Again beer after beer. In this pictures, there are times showing the time between emptying a beer and getting a new one.

Again the question is: What can you do to moderate this kind of drinking? There are many answers!

Also Read

Comprehensive guide to becoming a moderate drinker
Why become a moderate drinker?

March – A month off the booze.

Reflections on abstaining for a month

From 25th Feb until to 1st April I didn’t drink any alcohol. I won a speech contest and with it a bottle of wine but I didn’t drink that bottle until the 1st April. This has been the longest I haven’t drunk any alcohol for more than 20 years, possibly longer.

What I learnt!

• There’s always a reason to drink i.e. there’s never a good time to stop.
• It’s not that hard, once you get into it (though I’m a moderate drinker now)
• Drinking non-alcoholic beer has some benefits.
• People would benefit from the practice of Lent.

There’s always a reason (excuse) to drink – during my non-drinking time;<br />
• I won a speech contest.
• I came second in another speech contest.
• A ‘drinking’ friend came over from Taiwan.
• Helped out on a well-paid photographic project.
• Wales won the Glam Slam.

From when I was younger, even if I felt rough, there never seemed to be a good time to stop because there’s always someone’s birthday, someone leaving work, a party, etc. Reasons to drink seem to be non-stop. If you want to want to stop or have a break, don’t let ‘excuses’ like it’s so-so birthday, Liverpool are playing this weekend, it’ll be our Wedding anniversary next week get in the way. They’ll always be there.

It’s not that hard, once you get into it

Except for a few moments, like when my friend from Taiwan came over, it was very easy not to drink. It’s probably easier now than before because I usually only drink one or two glasses anyway.

Drinking non-alcoholic beer has some benefits

I’ve always thought drinking non-alcoholic beer was a con. Why drink it if it doesn’t have an effect! And why do I have to pay the same about of money for it.

The above says a lot – so I only drank beer for the effect? And it certainly seemed that I was willing to pay for the effect.

But not drinking non-alcoholic beer kind of limited my choice in pubs to soft drinks and I’m not that fond of them, especially in the evening. Now that I’ve accepted non-alcoholic beer as a legitimate drink, it gives me more choice going out.

A funny thing happened with non-alcoholic beer, I actually got quite into it. Some evenings I drunk six bottles in various ‘beer’ relax positions i.e. on the balcony looking out towards the river, on the sofa watching a film and in the kitchen chatting with my girlfriend. The most surprising thing was I actually enjoyed drinking ‘beer’ without getting the ‘effect’. It was liberating. I was drinking beer and it was enjoyable but without the effect, I felt more like my real self.

People would benefit from the practice of Lent.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no Christian and when I was younger I used to argue against things Christian. But strong opinions can blind you. Religion has been around for 1,000s of years and they’ve gotten some things right. I believe Lent is one of them and it especially needed in our modern times.

And it’s not just Christians and religious group that recommend giving up something for a time. Seneca, the great Roman writer, practiced ‘poverty’ for short periods on a regular basis. He would eat the most basic foods or dress in rags for a week or so. He asked himself the question “Is this the condition I so feared?” The idea was to cut out what wasn’t needed in life and to experience your fears, so that you’re not paralysed by them.

That was a long time ago, why is Lent and ‘giving up’ things needed now?

We have everything we need and much more. But business must go on. So they ‘manufactured need’ to keep us buying and because of this we have become needy. We need a TV, we need to be connected, we need a scotch, we need an energy drink, we need something sugary, we need a Gucci top, etc. But the truth is we won’t die if we don’t have any of these things.

You don’t become a moderate drinker by abstaining

In a previous article I argued that you don’t become a moderate drinker by abstaining. I still stand by this but I now think that a period of abstaining can help in more ways.

If you still go to pubs and parties and get the chance to ‘practice’ saying no. This practice is important, especially if you don't want to give up on publife and parties.

Accept that non-alcoholic beer etc, is an acceptable alternative. It will give you more choice. Also you can discover what it’s like to drink ‘beer’ and still be you (i.e. sober). Perhaps you’ll also like it.

Why Heavy Drinkers Drink - a look at motivation

Motivation can go two ways. There’s motivation not to drink and there’s motivation to drink. In heavy drinkers, the motivation to drink is usually strongest when they start to drink and then once the drink takes over - there’s no stopping – only sleep, lack of money and closing time can stop them.

This doesn’t mean that heavy drinkers don't have any motivation to drink less. In fact, heavy drinkers have some of the strongest feelings against drinking. Ask them when they have a hangover, when they’re sick from drink, when they feel crappy the next day, when they ruined a close relationship and you’ll find many of them against drinking. The only problem is that this motivation evaporates when drinking time comes round.

The Motivation to Drink Less for a Heavy Drinker

The Motivation to Drink Less.

In the graph, the short red lines represent times that you start drinking.  For heavy drinkers, it’s these points that their motivation to control or not to drink is at its lowest.

In a heavy drinker, the motivation to drink less varies quite a bit. Probably more so than someone who doesn’t drink because they regularly suffer the ill effects from drinking too much. Personally, I don’t know how many times I’ve said “Never again, I’m never going to drink again” when I’ve been suffering from a severe hangover.

From looking at the graph I could conclude that;

• Heavy drinkers already know that drinking is bad for them.
• Motivation to drink less is inconsistent.
• Heavy drinkers must also think there are big benefits to drinking.

So why does the motivation to drink less go?

From Severe Hangover to Drinking again - Motivation to drink less is inconsistent in Heavy Drinkers

From high motivation to low motivation to control your drinking – what happens?

Numbers correspond to the graph

1 – severe hangover – feeling towards drinking – hate
2 – hangover subsides – it’s bearable.
3 – friend calls – he wants to go out drinking tomorrow night. You’re not enthusiastic but you agree. You think you’ll drink less.
4 – you see an advert on drinking – it reminds you why you drink
5 – you’re excited about meeting your friends, going out, the possibilities of what might happen. You don’t think about drinking directly but it’s an integral part of it.
6 – you start drinking. Your feelings towards drinking is positive.

Heavy drinkers drink for a reason. They have strong positive associations with drinking, otherwise they wouldn’t drink so much the next time.

What are those reasons?

Manliness, sex, fun, good times, more socialable, chance to meet the opposite sex, stress, relaxation, nerves, sophisticated, cultured, status, exciting, makes my life more interesting, social bonding, etc.

If you want to control or stop your drinking, it’s these positive associations you need to address.

For example;

Does drinking really make you more manly?
Are you more socialable when you drink?
Does drinking really make your life more interesting?
Are times really better if you drink?
Are you really more relaxed from drinking?

I’ll focus more on some of these individual points in the future.