How to increase your will-power!

In this fantastic presentation on will-power, Kelly MacGonigal gives some great insights into how we can manage change and manage will-power.  I feel that four of the five recommendations can help people immediately, and the first one she recommends will be the result of taking more control over your drinking.

Brief introduction

The Devil and the Angel.

Classic description of temptation, with the devil telling you to ‘go on, order that next drink’ and the angel replying ‘hang on, it’s already nine o’clock, you’ve got work tomorrow etc’.  And in a way this is a useful metaphor for how the brain works. 

The Devil Brain (Seth Goth calls it the lizard brain - related to why we don't do great work)

The old part of the brain wants immediate gratification.  It lives in the moment and its primal instinct is survival. When we lived on the grasslands of Africa, we took whatever food came our way and enjoyed sex when it was available.  This kind of thinking increased the chances of the survival of your genes then.  Traditionally, people thought of this brain process as hedonistic but Kelly puts a new spin on this.  She puts it this way, people are not getting pleasure from doing drugs, drinking too much, eating non-stop, they’re getting relief from ‘want’. 

It was an asset in the grasslands of Africa but now-a-days with cheap food, cheap booze, TV, internet etc, immediate gratification has become a liability.

The Angel Brain

This is a newer part of the brain.  It’s more long term thinking and can control impulses to do things, for the long term good.  It allows us to drink socialably but helps us stop before we will ruin tomorrow.  It helps us say no.  It helps us do the right thing.  It’s the brain we need for the modern world but often it loses out to the devil brain.

The Five Willpower enhancers;

1.      Sleep, exercise, eat well and meditate.

2.      Forgive yourself

3.      Make friends with your future self

4.      Write about how you will fail

5.      Surf the urge (it’s not pleasure, it’s want)

Sleep, exercise, eat good food and meditate

For me, this one is difficult to do when you’re drinking too much.  Yes, drinkers exercise, they can eat well and some meditate but in general, drinking goes against these things.  It disrupts your sleep, makes you feel tired and sometimes even rotten.  Certainly for me, drinking was a drain on ‘doing the right thing’, especially the day after.

I feel that the other four practices will have more of a positive benefit to cutting down and this one, is what you get for reducing your drinking.

Forgive yourself. 

If you’re quitting or cutting back, you’re are likely to suffer from a relapse.  Studies, find people who are easy on themselves after a relapse did much better at their habit change then people who turned in on themselves.

I found this to be true.  When I went to Taiwan in January (2012) I got drunk like the old days.  There was a slight difference, I was more aware of what I was doing but I didn’t do much to reduce my drinking.  I realise that this wasn’t what I wanted but I didn’t seem able to do anything in Taiwan, so I decided to write it off.  I allowed myself to drink in Taiwan but afterwards I would address what went wrong and take action.  It worked.  It turned out to be just a two week blip.

Make friends with your future self. 

Studies have found that people who connect most closely with their future self(s) were much more likely to succeed in changing a bad habit than people who felt their future self(s) were different people.

Exercises used to help people connect more closely with their future self, included;

·        Writing a letter from your future self, thanking you for the action you had taken to develop a better habit.  You can write how your life is so much better for the action you took.

·        Imagine your future self doing some routine tasks.

Write about how you’re going to fail at your habit change.  

In studies they found that very positive images of you succeeding worked a little bit better than doing nothing.  But writing about how you’re going to fail made a bigger difference.

Why does this help?  I believe that this helps you understand how your bad habit works.  What triggers it?  When your failure is like to happen? Who are you with? Etc.  You predict what’s going to go wrong and then you notice how accurate your prediction is.  You refine it and get to know the ins and outs of your habit.  It helps your self-awareness and ultimately, it’s this self-awareness that helps you change.

Surfing the urge.

Take a smoker for example;  he’s dying for a fag but instead of giving into the urge, he;

• Focuses his attention on the carving.  What does it feel like?  Where is the feeling?

• He knows that the carving is like a wave and will go away.  He knows he can surf this urge.  He can take deep breathes.  The urge will eventually go.

I loved the presentation Kelly gave in this Authors@Google series.  I hope you find it helpful too, especially with the Xmas party session coming up.

Upcoming Will-power series

We are already in October and Christmas is fast approaching. 

Christmas is a time for cheer or so they sell it. More like drunken nights and rotten hangovers, if my memory serves me right.

Many of us increase our drinking over the Christmas period, because there are many more opportunities to do so.  There are work parties, friends and family get togethers, and in general we have a little more time (less to do at work and some holidays). 

We also increase our drinking because it’s expected of us, this is especially so for people with a reputation for drinking.  If you don’t live up to your reputation for drinking, people tend to think something is wrong.  (John, what’s wrong, why don’t you have a drink?  ORANGE JUICE!  You don't have to drive tonight, do you?  Come on John, get lively, here's a drink for you.  Etc).

So to help you get prepared for the Christmas period and to avoid an increase in your drinking and possibly a decrease, there will be a short series on will-power.

Will-power series

1^st – review of a Google Talk by Kelly McGonigal.  In this talk she highlights five things that we can do to improve our will-power/self control.  I’ll provide a short review of the highlights from her talk and how drinkers might use these.

2^nd – Environment >Will-power.  The focus will be on how we can change our environment so that it supports a more moderate approach to drinking.  This is very applicable to the home.  We also look at ways of automating decisions instead of using will-power, which can be used for social occasions where you have little control over the environment.

3^rd – Summary

I’ve learned some things about will-power which I wasn’t aware of before.  There’s a lot of talk of will-power as a limited resource.  In layman’s terms, every day we have X amount of will-power and making decisions, communications and ‘self-control’ uses up your will-power.  So that by the end of the day, many people have used up their ‘will-power’ resource and are unable to resist temptation.  It’s a bit more complicated than this and for a fuller review read here.

 

Change of view on Will-power?

I’ve used the BJ Fogg model of habit change, which emphasis behaviour change and use of triggers over will-power.  I’ve written about will-power before.

Will-power is overrated!
Why drinkers drink.  A look at motivation.

 

But I think Kelly McGonigal ideas will support anyone trying to moderate or abstain from drinking (or to change any habit) and are worth knowing and experimenting with.

More on will-power soon.

Other articles to help you become a moderate drinker

How to be a moderate drinker.

October Challenge

I consider my drinking still to be moderate and I’m happy that my drinking habit is quite stable.  When I’m at home, I tend to drink one or two glasses of wine at a time.  In September, I think I was drinking more often though and to address this, I’ve decided to cut out alcohol for October.  It’s also partially because when I cut out alcohol in March, I felt really good (but I had also started exercising at that time too) and I’m curious to see whether this will happen again.

It also feels different this time, as it doesn’t feel so much like a challenge.  In January, I drunk like my old self and March was only a short time after that, so it felt like something I must do.  This time, it feels quite easy not to drink.  Well, it’s only been four days so far.

I have one exception for drinking in October and that is, if my friend from Taiwan comes over, I’ll have a beer with him.  This exception is in place because the last time he came over was in March and I think he was a little disappointed that I didn’t share a beer with him.

A year ago today

Officially, the Moderate Drinker has been on the Moderate Drinking road for a year.

On the 3rd September 2011 I made the effort to cut down to two glasses of wine and then on the 4th Sept 2011 I came up with 'Just one glass per night'.  That was the start.  Moderating at home was surprisingly easy but at parties and pubs it took some more effort.

I got sadly drunk for two weeks in January when I went back to Taiwan for a visit.  I used to work out there. But since then I've been moderate again both at home and in the pub. 

Cutting down has had some great benefits;

• Feeling good on both Saturday and Sunday
• No hangovers (except in January)
• Generally feel happier when I'm not drinking
• Don't feel the complusion to drink more and more
• More motivated to make other changes in my life.
• When you're sober, you realise drunks aren't so funny

Things are far from perfect but really cutting down on drink has made my life better.

Related articles

Why don't more heavy drinkers moderate?

How to be a moderate drinker?

The Fantastic BJ Fogg – Habit Change Made Easy

The focus of this article is on how I changed my drinking habit but this model can be used with any habit.  Whether it’s one you want to decrease or one you want to increase i.e. exercise, meditation, healthy eating etc.

I used BJ Fogg’s habit change model to change the way I drink.  I used to be a heavy drinker but with the model I’m now a moderate drinker.  The change for the most part was easy.

Before

I was the kind of drinker that couldn’t stop once I had started.  Once I had one drink, I would continue for at least another four or five.  Sometimes I woke up and couldn’t remember what had happened the night before. More often I would lose my weekends through feeling rotten and unmotivated. I did this for 25 years.

Now

Sometimes I don’t have a drink for a week or so.  Not through avoidance, I just simply don’t have the urge.  When I do drink, most times I have just one or two glasses. When I’m out in a pub or a restaurant, quite often I start with a non-alcoholic beer.  If I’m there for a while, I’ll have water while I have an alcoholic drink.  I say ‘No’ most times when I don’t want to drink anymore.

How I used BJ Fogg’s model to become a moderate drinker. See table below

<><><><><><><><><>

Motivation	Abilities	Triggers
Avoid hangovers, feeling rough next day etc.	Stop after one drink	Note place on my wine bottles
Gain more quality time	Drink soft drinks with alcohol	Celebrate ‘stopping’ after one glass
Get healthier	Say no to alcohol, when I don’t want it.
	Make the ‘whys’ for not-drinking stronger
	Understand my motivation to drink.  Can they be changed?
	Always drink a soft drink with an alcoholic one, when I’m in a pub.

How BJ Fogg’s Habit Change Model helped me

The model helped me ask a better question. 

• Before - when I wanted to change, I would either stop for a short time or drink less frequently but it didn’t change the way I drank. 
• After – I asked ‘What do moderate drinkers do that I don’t’.  This gave me the ‘abilities’ of a moderate drinker.  I then focused on building these habits.

The model moved the focus on to ‘abilities’ (what action to take) from motivation.

• Sometimes you can go backwards with habit change.  I did, in January I was on holiday for two weeks and I drank like my old self.  If I was relying on my motivation I would’ve probably thrown in the towel.  But luckily, I revisited my ‘abilities’ list and worked on ‘Saying No to a drink’ and ‘always having a soft drink with an alcoholic one’.  I didn’t blame myself.  I focused on building change instead.

‘Abilities’ really helped me take action, because it made action specific.

• ‘Stop after one glass’ was an easy action to implement at home.  It was clear, there was no wiggle room and it allowed me to use a trigger that worked every time.  I knew when I had achieved this and this allowed me to ‘celebrate’ the new habit too.

Clear ‘abilities’ make it easier to use triggers.

Triggers allow you to be consistent.  Consistency changes habits.

• What’s a trigger?  Classic ones; When you sit on your sofa (this triggers), you then turn on the TV.  When you see a red light, you start to slow down and then stop.  And from the world of drinking, when your glass is empty, you fill it up.

• ‘Stop after one glass’ – I placed a notice on my wine bottle ‘only one glass’.  I saw it every time I started drinking and it got me to think, WHY?  Why, just one glass (no hangovers, feel great tomorrow and won’t be drunk tonight)?  This got me to do the new habit.  It got to think at the right time and it send my motivation sky-high, also at the right time. 

• This trigger made it so easy, that it felt like I was cheating.  Remember, I hadn't been able to do this for 25 years.

Overall

If you want to change a habit; stop, start or modify one, this model makes it easier.  It's action focused and it helps make those actions clearer.  It moves the focus away from motivation (a very inconsistent quality and one that can lead to self-blame) to action.  It also promotes the use of triggers, which gets you to do new actions consistency.  Use the model.  It works.

Other links;

Do you drink too much;  answer this question - how many times have you been drunk in your life?

Why do we drink? Part 2

Last time we watch 10 adverts for alcohol and tried to work out how they were selling alcohol to us. 

Knowing why we drink can help us questions those reasons.  Are they valid reasons?  Are we deluding ourselves?

Allen Carr is famous for helping people quit smoking and drinking.  His approach to quitting smoking focuses on debunking myths surrounding smoking – it’s physically addictive, it’s beneficial (i.e. helps against boredom, helps concentration, relaxes me etc). 

Here’s a video of him explaining his method for smokers to quit.

Allen Carr Explaining How Smokers Can Stop

Alcohol Relaxes Me (My interpretation of Allen Carr)

Alcohol relaxes me. It’s true that when you start drinking, alcohol changes the way you feel.  That’s probably why after a hard day of work, people like this change in state that alcohol provides.   But if you carry on drinking, up to the time you go to bed, then alcohol disrupts your sleep.  You might fall asleep faster but alcohol disrupts the second half of your sleep, leaving you tired in the morning.  Not only that, alcohol’s a depressant, which basically means it slows down your brain activity.  That’s why after a heavy night, most people feel ‘washed out’ the next day. 

Alcohol and alternatives for relaxation.

	Short term	Medium term	Long term
Alcohol	Changes how you feel	Negative	Negative
Meditation	Changes how you feel	Positive	Positive
Exercise	Changes how you feel	Positive	Positive
Cold Shower	Changes how you feel	Don’t know	Don’t know

Allen Carr's Fourth Point from the video

I've found this to be true.  I was surprised at first but when you see someone getting more and more drunk, it's really isn't a pretty sight.

Back to the adverts

Advert 1

It makes things different.  Something unexpected might happen.  You’ll be living but with a different tune – fun because it’s different.

This is held to be true by many drinkers because many drunken nights led to unexpected things happening.    But I also think a bit of alcohol blindness is happening here as well.  Too many people think of ‘drinking’ as the ‘night out’ but the effect of alcohol last much longer.  Unexpected things might happen on a night out but nothing much tends to happen the day after a night out.  The day can be lost because you’re recovering from the night.  So you lose the chance to do different and exciting things in the day because you’re too wasted.

This gets to be more true as you get older.  Perhaps, you don't even have the excitement of going out because you drink at home.  If you're in your 30s, 40s or 50s, you've probably done this over a 1,000 times before.  What's going to be different if you get drunk one more time?  The end result is likely to be the same, especially for the day after.  Many heavy drinkers write off the day after, simply because alcohol is determining their routine.  They deny themselves the chance to do something different the next day.

Advert 3

It’s a manly thing to do.  Men and beer relate.  When men and beer get together, you can relax and have a good time.   The pub is place for a man.  If you drink and you’re a man, you’re still a rebel – young at heart

Whilst men like to drink beer together, is it really a manly thing to do? 

·         Beer, especially helps towards man boobs.   Man boobs are the very antipathy of manliness, cause in part by alcohol increase oestrogen, a female hormone.   Alcohol in general is seen by many as empty calories, which can lead to putting on weight. 

·         Alcohol lowers the sexual performance of males.

·         A sports field, a garage and a kitchen are also places for men. 

Advert 4

Beer is better than a beautiful woman.  It taste really good too.

Both might seem like good ideas but ultimately they both lead to trouble.

Advert 7

Beer makes you dance and brings out your hidden talents.

Arguably for some people, they only dance then they’ve drunk some alcohol.    From my personal experience and of seeing friends the day after, alcohol is usually disastrous for developing ‘hidden talents’.   It’s a huge time killer.  After big nights, it usually leaves you useless the next day.  This can be from tiredness and also from the ‘downer’ affect alcohol has on your nervous system, leaving you unmotivated and feel disengaged.  

What can we learn from Allen Carr?

·         Understanding and questioning why we drink will help us change our view of 'drinking'.

·         Many of the reasons why we drink are based on false beliefs. This is good in a way because we can question and address those beliefs.

·         It's easier to change your habit, if you believe it's easy.

·         Like smokers who need to smoke to relax, drinkers who need to drink to relax ( or socialize, or feel comfortable, or address boredomness) are putting themselves in a vicious circle.  It's a form of complusive behaviour.  If you put a heavy drinker next to a non-drinker/moderate drinker, who do you think is more relaxed?  And if you take away the drink - would their behaviour change?

·         And I'm sure a lot more.

Allen Carr also has a book that helps you quit drinking, even though its called 'Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol'.  From the reviews on Amazon, it seems very anti-drinking and a lot of reviewers who had read the book, ended up quitting alcohol.

Remember, you can change your drinking habit.  You can quit if you want or you can modify it. It's your choice.

http://themoderatedrinker.blogspot.com/2011/10/moderate-drinker.html

Quick update

Mostly Successful

I haven’t posted for more than three month but being a ‘moderate drinker’ has largely been successful.

Going Backwards

I went backwards a couple of times. I got drunk a couple of times over the Christmas period but in general I drank much less than I normally did at Christmas.

The biggest step backwards was in January, when I went to Taiwan for two weeks. I used to live in Taiwan and it was great catching up with everyone. Unfortunately, I drank like my old-self, perhaps with a tiny bit more restraint. I got really drunk a couple of times and I was sick the after day on one of those occasions.

Still, it was self-contained to those two weeks in January. Since coming back, I'm back to being a moderate drinker. Stopping after one or two glasses of wine and I’m currently not drinking for the whole of March.

What went wrong in Taiwan?

I was going out a lot and drinking in very social situations. In Taiwan, a lot of the time, I was drinking whilst eating, but drinking a lot. There was a big variety in places and also in people I was drinking with. The main thing that went wrong was that I wasn’t saying ‘no’ to a drink. Another thing, I didn’t take a bottle of water with me, when I went out.

What I need to work on.

I definitely need to say ‘NO’ more often and perhaps have a rule to always start off with a soft drink.

In Europe, to get used to drinking 'non-alcoholic’ beer. One of the problems I have with this is that it’s usually the same price as ‘beer’. I need to get over this and see that a ‘non-alcoholic’ beer is a way of being with the ‘crowd’ and being healthy.

What I’m doing now.

Currently, I’m taking a month off from drinking for the whole of March. Whilst, I don’t think ‘abstaining’ helps much with being a moderate drinker, there is one thing that you must do in social situations and that is say ‘No’. Last weekend and this weekend, I get the chance to say ‘no’ to a drink.

Three Gear Drinking Brits

This article is for;

People who drink too much and want to cut down.

Reading this will give you;

You’ll realise that British drinking patterns are just habits. British drinking habits might be unhelpful and limited but they can certainly be changed. Moderate drinking is a skill and like all skills it can be learnt by most people.

Brits and their three gears of drinking

0 (neutral if you like) – Don’t drink.
3 – Drink fast
4 – Drink until you’re very drunk.

If this was a car, you wouldn’t be very happy. It’ll get you into a lot of trouble and you’ll be making an ass of yourself most of the time you’re driving. Same with drinking, you either be fine, when you’re in neutral or when you do drink, you risk the chance of hangovers, missing much of your weekend, feeling bad, sounding slurred, insulting someone you didn’t want to or even getting into trouble with other people. Drinking with three gears isn’t great and yet many British people drink this way. I did for twenty five years and the majority of people I know who drink, drink this way too.

Why are we so bad? Culture, perhaps? Weak minded? Peer pressure? The causes could be debated forever, the end result is that many of us only drink using third and fourth. We don’t drink using gears one and two because essentially, we don’t practice them. When was the last time you stopped after one? When was the last time you started with water? When was the last time you ordered a jug of tap water with your round?

What are gears one and two?

Perhaps;

1 – Drink one or two drinks and stop
2 –Drink two, three or four drinks, with a soft drink starter or alternating between alcohol and soft drinks.

If you can master even one of these gears, your drinking will radically change. They are not difficult skills to master, you only need to practice them to get good at them.

I’ve practice ‘drinking one or two drinks and then stopping’ and for me, this has been my silver bullet. It has changed my attitude towards drinking. I now think before and during drinking about what could happen the next day. If possible, I drink with a soft drink too, to slow me down. The amount I drink now is much lower than before. I hardly ever drink more than four pints at a time. That used to be my minimum.

You don’t have to be a three gear drinking Brit. You don’t have to get drunk every time you drink (check out Scare Yourself with numbers). You don’t need to feel bad about yourself the next day. Take control of your drinking by practicing gears 1 and 2. Once you’ve got these gears, your drinking will change for the better.

Other articles on Moderate drinking

Overview of the Moderate Drinker
Will-power is overrated

You don’t become a moderate drinker by abstaining

Who’s this for?

Heavy drinkers who want to cut down their drinking but who don’t want to stop. There are many advantages in moderating your drinking, namely better health, save more money and better relationships with the ones you love.

Abstinence

Abstaining can be great and though I’m not religious I believe that modern society is missing out because we don’t practice lent anymore.

I’ve abstained quite a few times, the longest ones being Feb 09, Dec 07 (India) and Feb 99 (India). Yes, I felt great afterwards and I thought they were worthwhile. They were welcome breaks for my body and my mind. They both felt better for not drinking. But when I started drinking again, I just went back to my old habits. You don’t become a moderate drinker by abstaining.

The skills are different.

Abstinence is mainly about avoidance of drink and saying no.

Moderation is finding new skills that help you handle drink better, like stopping after one or two drinks, drinking a soft drink with alcohol and being aware that drinking too much leads to unpleasant consequences the next day.

Practice the skills, to get better at them.

From my experience the only way to learn these skills is to do them and do them consistently. I found the use of triggers really helped me develop these skills. After you do them consistently for a while, they start to become natural.

Triggers I used

A trigger that told me just to drink one glass per night and got me to think about the consequences of drinking too much

A trigger that told me to be happy when I had stopped after one glass

Another possible trigger to use

Drink water with, before and after an alcohol drink. If in the house – use a notice on your bottle of wine (or whatever it is you drink) “One wine, one water”. I feel strongly that the message needs to be with the drink as this helps you get consistent at doing it.

Conclusion

Many people believe that if they stop for some time and then start again, they will miraculously be moderate drinkers. I learnt from experience that this is not the case. Moderate drinking and abstinence are different. You need different skills to drink moderately.

I’m not against abstinence, I think for some people it’s the right choice and even for moderate drinkers a period of abstinence could be good for them. If you abstain from drinking, you will feel better (at least different).

If your goal is to be a moderate drinker, then you need to learn skills that help you be a moderate drinker. Simple as that.

Alcohol Diary - 14th - 31st October

Welcome to the Moderate Drinker.

After a busy start to the month, things settled down into a much healthier pattern.

Overall, I’m happy with the way I’m approaching drink. It feels natural to just have one in the home now and I was happy that I took action to reduce my drinking when I went out to the pub earlier in the month.

I'm loving the side benefits of moderate drinking too, especially the additional quality time that I have and I don't miss hangovers!
Overview of October

• 12 days alcohol free
• 10 days - 1 drink
• 4 days – 1-2 drinks
• 3 days – 2-3 drinks
• 2 days – 4 drinks

For November I’d like to increase the alcohol free days and reduce the days with 2-4 drinks. Only problem is that I’m going away to a vineyard for one weekend.

I’m thinking that a month off the alcohol would be good too but I don’t envisage that happening until March next year.

14th - 2 and a half small glasses of wine. Went to a friend’s house for dinner. Drank slowly and left the last glass of wine unfinished.
15th – 1 glass of red wine
16th – 1 glass of red wine
17th – 0
18th – 0
19th - 1 glass of red wine
20th – 0
21st - 1 glass of red wine
22nd – 4 and half small glasses of white wine
23rd – 0
24th – 0
25th – 1
26th – 1 and half small glasses of white wine
27th – 0
28th – 0
29th - 1 glass of red wine
30th - 1 glass of red wine
31st – 0


September Results

Alcohol - Scare Yourself With Numbers

Since deciding to be a moderate drinker, I’ve become more aware of a few facts about my drinking.

A scary one was that I’ve been drinking heavily for about 25 years. That’s roughly 60 - 61% of my life.

Another scary one is to calculate roughly how many times I’ve been drunk (lets say four pints of beer or a bottle of wine) in my life.

• If it’s twice a week that will be 2,600 times.
• If it’s three times a week that will be 3,900 times.
• If it’s four times a week that will be 5,200 times.

My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that it’s around the 3,900 mark. There have been times when I’ve drank less, but there’s definitely been times when I’ve drank more. That’s scary.

• 3,900 times I’ve drunk so much that its damaging to my brain.
• 3,900 attacks on my liver.
• 3,900 times that my speech has been affected by alcohol (maybe).
• 3,900 times I’ve been affected the next morning.
• 3,900 times before I took decisive action to drink moderately.

Also, another scary number. If I’ve been drunk 3,900 times, then that’s like being drunk every day for nearly 11 years. Now that’s scary.

When faced with numbers like this, I really wonder why I’ve continued to drink heavily for so long. It’s looks ridiculous to me now but it’s helping me to be stronger as I’ve realise the damage I’ve already done. These numbers scare me but they’ve also made me stronger.

Calculate your own numbers. Use equation in Excel.

=25*(52*3) (number in this equation are mine)

1. The number of years you’ve been drinking
2. Weeks per year
3. How many times a week you get drunk

Remember, scaring yourself is pointless, unless you scare yourself into action.

Posts for taking action

How to be a Moderate Drinker

Use 'Triggers' to change your drinking habits

How to be a Moderate Drinker!

Overview

This simple model gives you the tools to adjust your drinking downwards to levels where alcohol is harmless. You’ll also enjoy the day after drinking much, much more and develop new skills so that you can still enjoy a drink and have the confidence to determine how much you want and when to stop.

The Model

People blame their lack of will-power for failing to change things they don’t like about themselves. This pre-occupation with will-power tends to make people a bit short-sighted of what they can do to change their habit. Habit change is not only about will-power, it’s a bit more involved than that. It’s like trying to make a table by only using a measuring tape. There are more tools you can use. Once you use a saw and a hammer, the job becomes much simpler. The same is true for habit change, once you start using all the tools available to you, habit change becomes easier.

BJ Fogg - Model of Habit Change


• Motivation (will-power)
• Abilities
• Triggers

BJ Fogg has said in an interview that ‘abilities’ and ‘triggers’ are more important than motivation for actually creating a new habit.

Motivation

What will you get when become a moderate drinker?

Some of my motivation

• No hangovers
• More quality time
• Peace of mind – 25 years is a long time to have a risky habit
• Lessen the risk of a serious accident
• Healthier
• More focus
• Move on from drunken behaviour (Drinking less has given me the opportunity to see people get drunk and it’s not that pretty. It makes me cringe to think I’ve done that so many times over the past 25 years

Motivation and being a Moderate Drinker

It’s very inconsistent and when I’ve planned to moderate my drinking in the past, new habits didn’t form because I was too inconsistent. It was hardly ever there at the right time and place, which is why I’ve used triggers. When combined with triggers, motivation is much more powerful because it’s there at the right time and in the right place. It has also led to a consistent approach of determining how many drinks I’ll have before I start drinking.

Abilities (new skills)

• Say no.
• Understand how and when you are drinking.
• Stop yourself. (after one, two or three drinks)
• Congratulate yourself when you say no and stop yourself.
• Deal with peer pressure
• Order water with a round/drink.
• Drink water in a pub.
• Disassociate being sociable, having a laugh, feeling open with drink and associate these things with yourself/being your friends.
• Associate hangovers, being down, being lazy more strongly with heavy drinking.

What I love about ‘abilities’ to be a moderate drinker is that none of them are ‘rocket science’. We can all say ‘no’ and we can all stop ourselves at having too much of something. Perhaps, we just don’t do this with drinks.

In Britain, many people drink fast and heavy. They don’t say ‘no’ to having another drink and they rarely stop themselves. Their habits dictate their actions and this won’t change until they start practicing saying ‘no’ to drinks and ‘stopping’ themselves. Once they practice, it’ll become easy. All it takes to get a new skill is practice.

Abilities and being a Moderate Drinker

I decided that at home, I would only have one glass of wine a night. One glass, partly for simplicity, easier to record and also I thought it might be easier to stop when I only have one glass. I used a trigger that basically told me ‘only one glass per night’ and this caused me to think before I drink (I think about the benefits of only drinking one). I was surprised at how easy it was and still is.

It’s now, almost natural to think before I drink. I’ve kept to only one glass per night, except for last Saturday when we had a small dinner party. This think before I drink has extended to when I go out with friends too. I don’t necessary keep to one drink on those occasions but I’m certainly drinking less than before.

Side effects – I’m starting to drink wine slower now, I drink a lot of water with and after drinking wine and I’ve used this tactic in the pub as well.

Triggers

Triggers for your old/current habit

• Looking forward to a night out
• Rounds – keeps you drinking without gaps. Also encourages fast drinking, to be the same as everyone else. In the home, this habit continued, even without the ‘round’ trigger.
• Empty glass – this can trigger someone to fill it up for you.

There are many more.

The important thing about understanding triggers for your old habit is that you’re better equipped to disrupt them.

Triggers for introducing a new habit.

• Message stuck to my wine bottle – only one glass!
• Message by my wine bottle to remind me to celebrate only drinking one glass (celebrate no hangover in the morning and that I’ll feel good then too)

Possible other triggers, which I haven’t used.

• Message that reminds you why you want to cut down. In place where you can see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
• Small bottles of wine.
• Limited alcohol supply so that you can only drink one or two drinks.
• Associate buying a drink with also getting a pint of water.

Triggers and the Moderate Drinker

Most of my drinking is in the home and triggers really made becoming a moderate drinker easy. They reminded me ‘why’ I wanted to moderate my drinking and they did it at the right time and in the right place. They kept me consistent at stopping after one glass. This skill is transferable to the pub, where I’ve had a beer and next to my beer is a glass of water. I’ve turned down offers of drinks mainly because I didn’t feel like them. All this has come from being consistent in the home.